Cidquat Watteenlun Davbogran is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, stupid monkey.

Cidquat Watteenlun Davbogran created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cidquat Watteenlun Davbogran, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cidquat Watteenlun Davbogran, she will turn you into a puffin.

Cidquat Watteenlun Davbogran's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Cidquat Watteenlun Davbogran's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. You must pray to Cidquat Watteenlun Davbogran four times a day.