Flatmitsand Dinditbess is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful donkey.

Flatmitsand Dinditbess created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Flatmitsand Dinditbess, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Flatmitsand Dinditbess, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Flatmitsand Dinditbess' most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Flatmitsand Dinditbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not hurt capybaras.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Put Flatmitsand Dinditbess first in all things.