Nellpangbenzak is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, idiotic raccoon.

Nellpangbenzak created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellpangbenzak, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nellpangbenzak, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nellpangbenzak's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Nellpangbenzak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Never go into pink rooms.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Do not kill rats.