Futfedkem is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, self-assured clam.

Futfedkem created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Futfedkem, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Futfedkem, it will be mildly annoyed.

Futfedkem's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Futfedkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Futfedkem's priests.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. You must pray to Futfedkem seven times a day.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Always wear white.