Wipmidhun is a god.

He takes the form of a small, ruthless seal.

Wipmidhun created vertebrates five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wipmidhun, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wipmidhun, he will try to impress you with trees.

Wipmidhun's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Wipmidhun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sing in public.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wipmidhun.

3. Never talk about turtles.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Fast once a month.