Latfebvig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate guinea pig.

Latfebvig created a quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Latfebvig, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Latfebvig, it will turn you into a snail.

Latfebvig's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Latfebvig's Holy Commandments

1. Latfebvig must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Always help sick tapirs.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never look in ponds.