Taphadmab is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking eagle.

Taphadmab created the Sol system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Taphadmab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Taphadmab, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Taphadmab's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Taphadmab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three rats approach from the north.

2. Never hurt goats.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never eat peanuts.