Ripfidrig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, thoughtless mole.

Ripfidrig created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripfidrig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ripfidrig, he will destroy your favourite star.

Ripfidrig's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Ripfidrig's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not speak about strawberries.