Tamyikvid is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, happy unicorn.

Tamyikvid created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tamyikvid, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tamyikvid, she will boil you in a big pot.

Tamyikvid's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Tamyikvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never talk about swans.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Tamyikvid on top of all buildings.