Negcumwot is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unselfish chinchilla.

Negcumwot created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Negcumwot, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Negcumwot, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Negcumwot's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Negcumwot's Holy Commandments

1. Badgers are not to be trusted.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never eat nuts.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

5. Pray towards the east.