Spagbarntap is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, loving lion.

Spagbarntap created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagbarntap, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Spagbarntap, he will throw large rocks at you.

Spagbarntap's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Spagbarntap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

4. Never mention badgers.

5. Do not kill turtles.