Gupcumhigbapbep is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, tiresome dingo.

Gupcumhigbapbep created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gupcumhigbapbep, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gupcumhigbapbep, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gupcumhigbapbep's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Gupcumhigbapbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always obey Gupcumhigbapbep's priests.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Gupcumhigbapbep on top of all buildings.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.