Zenhakkanjarnnar is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, sapient dugong.

Zenhakkanjarnnar created tapeworms seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zenhakkanjarnnar, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Zenhakkanjarnnar, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Zenhakkanjarnnar's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Zenhakkanjarnnar's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Fast once a month.