Gatyarpjan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, weak fly.

Gatyarpjan created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatyarpjan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gatyarpjan, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gatyarpjan's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Gatyarpjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.