Tofmapwat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud jaguar.

Tofmapwat created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofmapwat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tofmapwat, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Tofmapwat's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Tofmapwat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tofmapwat.