Vabpogmip Vonpinfem is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, benevolent parrot.

Vabpogmip Vonpinfem created the Tadpole Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabpogmip Vonpinfem, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vabpogmip Vonpinfem, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vabpogmip Vonpinfem's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Vabpogmip Vonpinfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never paint your arms gray.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.