Zistlabbim is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, irritating jaguar.

Zistlabbim created the Black Eye Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Zistlabbim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zistlabbim, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Zistlabbim's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Zistlabbim's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

2. Never sing in the presence of rats.

3. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Run away from yellow badgers, for they are unholy.

5. Do not commit murder.