Konbossbugquafnak Ragdumtargappfly is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic porpoise.

Konbossbugquafnak Ragdumtargappfly created bats three million years ago.

If you believe in Konbossbugquafnak Ragdumtargappfly, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Konbossbugquafnak Ragdumtargappfly, he will turn you into a rock.

Konbossbugquafnak Ragdumtargappfly's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Konbossbugquafnak Ragdumtargappfly's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never eat pineapples.

4. Never talk about swans.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.