Witfedlincatlibbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, wise yak.

Witfedlincatlibbarn created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Witfedlincatlibbarn, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Witfedlincatlibbarn, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Witfedlincatlibbarn's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Witfedlincatlibbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

4. Put Witfedlincatlibbarn first in all things.

5. Erect five platinum sculptures of Witfedlincatlibbarn on top of important buildings.