Flabfarcitlapgaddutmislit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, uncaring squid.

Flabfarcitlapgaddutmislit created a bottom quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabfarcitlapgaddutmislit, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flabfarcitlapgaddutmislit, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flabfarcitlapgaddutmislit's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Flabfarcitlapgaddutmislit's Holy Commandments

1. Sharks are not to be trusted.

2. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Hide if six otters approach from the west.

4. Always treat voles with great respect.

5. Never mention bats.