Laploopcab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, bad-tempered raven.

Laploopcab created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Laploopcab, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Laploopcab, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Laploopcab's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Laploopcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate doves.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Retreat if three dolphins approach from the west.