Monwanpigsan is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, fussy gnu.

Monwanpigsan created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monwanpigsan, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Monwanpigsan, it will turn you into a rat.

Monwanpigsan's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Monwanpigsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never feed figs to whales while wearing brown shoes.

4. Always help rats in need.

5. Never think ill of sick bats.