Flatlinben is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, happy gorilla.

Flatlinben created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Flatlinben, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flatlinben, she will destroy your home planet.

Flatlinben's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Flatlinben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always look after injured hamsters.

4. Always make sure there are no otters in a building before entering it.

5. Do not kill whales.