Omtvedzak is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, cheerful badger.

Omtvedzak created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtvedzak, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Omtvedzak, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Omtvedzak's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Omtvedzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Never talk about birds.

5. Hide if six seals approach from the west.