Matmatwot is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, caring cat.

Matmatwot created the planet Mars two billion years ago.

If you believe in Matmatwot, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Matmatwot, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Matmatwot's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Matmatwot's Holy Commandments

1. Matmatwot loves great tits, so they must be respected.

2. Do not take Matmatwot's name in vain.

3. Never wear turquoise hats.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Retreat if seven moths approach from the east.