Standissbif is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, intelligent snail.

Standissbif created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Standissbif, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Standissbif, she will try to impress you with trees.

Standissbif's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Standissbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not hurt voles.

3. Never talk about pigs.

4. Feed all hungry shrews.

5. Never write about cell theory.