Dossnuttvan Nanshavbam is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced scorpion.

Dossnuttvan Nanshavbam created the planet Venus six million years ago.

If you believe in Dossnuttvan Nanshavbam, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dossnuttvan Nanshavbam, she will try to impress you with trees.

Dossnuttvan Nanshavbam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Dossnuttvan Nanshavbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not run in public.

2. Dossnuttvan Nanshavbam must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never write about stars.