Biffigsig Buttomfumnillsabhim is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, duplicitous bear.

Biffigsig Buttomfumnillsabhim created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Biffigsig Buttomfumnillsabhim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Biffigsig Buttomfumnillsabhim, he will turn you into a snail.

Biffigsig Buttomfumnillsabhim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Biffigsig Buttomfumnillsabhim's Holy Commandments

1. Biffigsig Buttomfumnillsabhim must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Run away if seven sheep approach from the south.

3. Do not speak about figs.

4. Put Biffigsig Buttomfumnillsabhim first in all things.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.
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