Yakbarnquafgess is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered cobra.

Yakbarnquafgess created viruses five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakbarnquafgess, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yakbarnquafgess, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yakbarnquafgess' most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Yakbarnquafgess' Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yakbarnquafgess.

3. Yakbarnquafgess loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

4. Do not hurt snails.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.