Dinvangov Arpzagmil is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, self-assured yak.

Dinvangov Arpzagmil created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dinvangov Arpzagmil, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Dinvangov Arpzagmil, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dinvangov Arpzagmil's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Dinvangov Arpzagmil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not cook food in pots.