Tarpaffid is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awesome deer.

Tarpaffid created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpaffid, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tarpaffid, it will turn you into a duck.

Tarpaffid's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Tarpaffid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. Retreat if five snails approach from the east.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.