Tapwab is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, benevolent aardvark.

Tapwab created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapwab, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tapwab, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tapwab's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tapwab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Run away if six ants approach from the west.