Padyambot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, irritating octopus.

Padyambot created the world eight million years ago.

If you believe in Padyambot, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Padyambot, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Padyambot's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Padyambot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about eagles.

3. Always treat snakes with great respect.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.