Larnartsom is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, prudent dragon.

Larnartsom created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnartsom, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Larnartsom, she will make you grow a tail.

Larnartsom's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Larnartsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention squirrels.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Larnartsom on top of important buildings.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larnartsom.

5. Do not eat figs.