Metbedjip Sastitzod Afbegvadhan is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, contented beaver.

Metbedjip Sastitzod Afbegvadhan created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metbedjip Sastitzod Afbegvadhan, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Metbedjip Sastitzod Afbegvadhan, he will destroy your favourite star.

Metbedjip Sastitzod Afbegvadhan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Metbedjip Sastitzod Afbegvadhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always help frogs.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

5. Never look at stars.