Zetfeblan is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, temperamental spider.

Zetfeblan created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zetfeblan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zetfeblan, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Zetfeblan's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Zetfeblan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Feed all hungry doves.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Fast once a month.