Sigpigflatpak is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, conceited eagle.

Sigpigflatpak created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigpigflatpak, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sigpigflatpak, he will strike you with lightening.

Sigpigflatpak's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Sigpigflatpak's Holy Commandments

1. Sigpigflatpak must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never paint your head violet.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not commit murder.