Capcimpon is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless mole.

Capcimpon created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Capcimpon, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Capcimpon, it will turn you into a rock.

Capcimpon's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Capcimpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not eat carrots.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.