Lapdunbest is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, weak armadillo.

Lapdunbest created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapdunbest, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lapdunbest, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Lapdunbest's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Lapdunbest's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not kill gulls.