Quagwitnarthogfethon Fetbestloopcid is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, contented troll.

Quagwitnarthogfethon Fetbestloopcid created dark energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Quagwitnarthogfethon Fetbestloopcid, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quagwitnarthogfethon Fetbestloopcid, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Quagwitnarthogfethon Fetbestloopcid's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Quagwitnarthogfethon Fetbestloopcid's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face green.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. You must never eat carrots.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. You must love Quagwitnarthogfethon Fetbestloopcid.