Kapjennill is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, able guinea pig.

Kapjennill created oxygen nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapjennill, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Kapjennill, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Kapjennill's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Kapjennill's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never eat gooseberries.