Afbomnan is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, compassionate owl.

Afbomnan created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Afbomnan, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Afbomnan, he will turn you into a mouse.

Afbomnan's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Afbomnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. You must love Afbomnan.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Afbomnan.

4. Never mention snails.

5. Do not sit in public.