Nurlbutkap Veenfobsin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fast lobster.

Nurlbutkap Veenfobsin created a strange quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Nurlbutkap Veenfobsin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurlbutkap Veenfobsin, he will turn you into a duck.

Nurlbutkap Veenfobsin's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Nurlbutkap Veenfobsin's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Nurlbutkap Veenfobsin.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not take Nurlbutkap Veenfobsin's name in vain.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.