Linhotgen is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, egotistical octopus.

Linhotgen created an electron two million years ago.

If you believe in Linhotgen, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Linhotgen, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Linhotgen's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Linhotgen's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always help sick hamsters.

3. Erect five silicon sculptures of Linhotgen on top of important buildings.

4. Put Linhotgen first in all things.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.