Bedcarbon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, egotistical donkey.

Bedcarbon created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Bedcarbon, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bedcarbon, he will be very sad.

Bedcarbon's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Bedcarbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never paint your hands white.

5. Never look in ponds.