Bidteenfag is a god.

It takes the form of a large, confident hamster.

Bidteenfag created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidteenfag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bidteenfag, it will be very unhappy.

Bidteenfag's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bidteenfag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve aardvarks for they are unholy.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Put Bidteenfag first in all things.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Run away if four bats approach from the south.