Farnkikfenhinquaghonbedtarg is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous armadillo.

Farnkikfenhinquaghonbedtarg created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Farnkikfenhinquaghonbedtarg, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Farnkikfenhinquaghonbedtarg, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Farnkikfenhinquaghonbedtarg's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Farnkikfenhinquaghonbedtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Farnkikfenhinquaghonbedtarg on top of all buildings.

5. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.