Bitrakyim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, selfish hamster.

Bitrakyim created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bitrakyim, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bitrakyim, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bitrakyim's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Bitrakyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to dolphins while wearing purple rings.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always treat eagles with great respect.