Garwikmispinquamortlipjab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving wyvern.

Garwikmispinquamortlipjab created time and space eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Garwikmispinquamortlipjab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Garwikmispinquamortlipjab, he will turn you into a mouse.

Garwikmispinquamortlipjab's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Garwikmispinquamortlipjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to mice while wearing brown ear rings.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

4. Do not drink water in green rooms.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.