Vilvabgedxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, slow gerbil.

Vilvabgedxuck created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilvabgedxuck, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vilvabgedxuck, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vilvabgedxuck's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Vilvabgedxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about galaxies.